Have you been outsourcing? If you have, there’s no need to feel bad, I lived the first 26 years of my life believing that masturbation was shameful, and only for those who didn’t have a partner. I had always handed this responsibility over to the external source “boyfriend” and completely disempowered myself in the process. The wake up came one day when a dear friend was openly telling me about her self pleasure practice and I felt immature when I couldn’t resonate with what she was saying, and she couldn’t believe that not once in 26 years had I “gone there”. Her exact words, “Your choice girl, you’re the one missing out.” My surging curiosity created surprising action and exploration.

Shame holds us in a disempowered state.

Shame is a self-conscious emotion associated with a negative evaluation of self, and feelings of powerlessness, worthlessness, distress, exposure and mistrust. Most of us weren’t raised in sex positive environments, and no it’s not your parents fault, they weren’t either, and neither were your grandparents.

If you want to live an empowered life, and you want your kids to live empowered lives, it’s time dust the shame out of all of corners and edges of your life. Are you sexually liberated or suppressed? Is sex and pleasure a normal and natural part of the dialogue in your home? What beliefs are you holding onto about pleasure? Are they your beliefs or have you adopted these from someone else? What do you want for your children?

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